On saving it for marriage II:Non-theist edition

7 Reasons Why Atheists Wait Until Marriage

August 14th, 2011 by Leo
Why on earth would an atheist ever choose to wait until they were married to engage in the wonderfully pleasurable world of sex!? Well I happen to be an atheist and I happen to have decided to wait until I’m married. Does this make me crazy? Maybe. But here’s a list of 7 very sane, very logical reasons that suggest otherwise.

1. Logic

Logic might seem like a strange reason for a person to wait until they’re married but when we examine the statistics it makes much more sense. Couples that do wait have only a fraction of the divorce rate that others do. I personally think divorce would be a miserably unpleasant thing to experience and would like to increase my chances of a successful union wherever I can. Couples who wait also enjoy better communication, rank their relationships as more fulfilling, and even claim to enjoy BETTER SEX. If I’m being perfectly honest, anything that even slightly promises better sex in a lifelong partner seems worth pursuing. So looking at things objectively it does make sense to wait.

2. Setting an Example

Although sex is a private thing, your decision to wait doesn’t have to be. In fact you can use your decision to influence others you care about. According to the statistics mentioned above anyone who waits has a better chance at a successful marriage. I personally want my own children and even my siblings and friends to have the best shot at a happy marriage possible. I have a little sister and I don’t want her to grow up seeing her brothers sleep their way through the local population. Others that are inspired by you will hopefully go on to inspire their own children and friends. It feels good to set such a positive example!

3. Healthy Self Image

Does sex make you feel better about yourself? I have no idea. What I do know is that many people do look for sex for the self-esteem boost it can provide. Knowing what you want in life (such as a strong relationship) leads to higher self-awareness and in turn a higher self-esteem. If you know yourself then it’s highly unlikely that you’ll feel the need to seek out sexual relationships for a pick me up. Having control over your image is a powerful thing indeed. It gives you the razor sharp focus you need to pursue other goals like education, a career, and meaningful relationships.

4. Rebellion!

I personally love this reason. In a culture that is steeped in cheap sleazy dime-a-dozen sex I like to be the one that smirks at everyone else. I go to the same bars and clubs as everyone else does but when I see them all grinding like rabbits in heat I can take pride in the fact that I am not one of them. Nonreligious individuals are already rebelling against something so it’s only natural that they would withdraw even further from the majority.

(Or as a modern philosopher put it "it's hip to be square.")

5. Respect

Respect goes two ways. The first is the idea that I respect my future wife (even though we’ve probably never met) enough that I want her to take solace in the knowledge that I am all hers. I think most girls would agree that a guy who has waited for them is pretty cool. That goes both ways. Guys will think it’s pretty awesome too! The second reason I abstain out of respect is because most girls are going to be someone’s future wife! I respect those will-be unions enough to not interfere. Plus I don’t want guys pushing themselves on my wife to be!

6. Idealism

One definition of idealism states, “conforming to an ultimate standard of perfection of excellence; the idea of something that is perfect; something that one hopes to attain.” While idealism is a highly romantic notion, it is universally shared by people that are waiting, religious or otherwise. We all are seeking that perfect union, that ultimate standard of perfection. The idea of ‘the one,’ a single person that will compliment you better than anyone else is highly idealistic. While a person may experience love in many relationships throughout their lives reserving physical intimacy for only one of those loves places it above the rest.

Dedicating one’s life to an ideal — especially one that aims to make another person feel so special — is a very unique and selfless choice. It will make whoever chooses to follow this path feel like they are on a quest. While it will not be easy eventually the person they wind up with will love them all the more for it.

7. Poetry

While this may seem very similar to idealism it is really the essence of the ideal mind. Poetry is the heart and soul of waiting. It is the romance, the true love, the life partner; these things all sing poetry. Living a poetic life is to live for beauty itself. When we see elderly couples holding hands we can’t help but sigh. It is comforting to see two people, so in love, after so much time. Beauty is inspirational and for this reason more than any others on this list is why someone who is nonreligious might choose to wait. Without the ideal of heaven, and the everlasting love of an eternal father there isn’t a whole lot of beauty left in the world. Except for one thing. Love.