The “All Outcomes Are Equiprobable” Argument
Cornelius Hunter
I’ve been busy lately with a big landscaping job for the neighborhood
evolutionist. He wanted a massive set of stones to be carefully
arranged in his backyard. He wanted stones of different colors, and the
careful arrangement would spell out “Evolution Is True.”
Unfortunately, the day I finished this big job there was an
earthquake in the neighborhood which jumbled the stones I had carefully
arranged. I had to go back to the evolutionist’s property and put the
stones back in order.
To makes matters worse, the evolutionist wouldn’t pay me for the job.
When I sued him he told the judge that I was lying. He said I didn’t do
the job, but instead the arrangement of the stones was due to the
recent earthquake.
I explained to the judge that such an event would be unlikely, but
the evolutionist retorted that landscapers don’t understand probability.
The evolutionist explained to the judge that all outcomes are equally
probable. Every outcome, whether it spells out “Evolution Is True” or
nothing at all, has a probability of one divided by the total number of
possible arrangements. He said that I was committing a mistake that is
common with nonscientific and uneducated people. He explained that if
you toss a coin 500 times the sequence of heads and tails will be
astronomically unlikely. But it happened. All such sequences, even if
they spell out a message in Morse code, are equiprobable.
The judge agreed. He fined me for bringing a frivolous lawsuit
against the evolutionist and made me write “Evolution Is True” 500
times.
